grounding Archives - Radiant Wholeness Healing

Staying Centered in Times of Uncertainty*
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Staying Centered in Times of Uncertainty*

Staying Centered in Times of Uncertainty*

Do you feel like your world has been thrown off balance? Have some of your old triggers and patterns been activated in the past few weeks (or perhaps months)?

“We don’t realize that, somewhere within us all, there does exist a supreme self who is eternally at peace.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert

For most of us, change and uncertainty—whether it be on an individual, community, national or global level—triggers our old wounds and coping strategies. This may look like overwhelm and paralysis, getting easily irritated, trying to manage and control things…While it may feel like we have regressed or there is no solid ground to cling to, in my experience this is a sign that we are shifting into new possibilities, and that our souls are shedding what no longer serves us. That doesn’t mean it’s comfortable, however!

The following are five tips for staying centered during chaotic or uncertain times, so we can come out on the other side relatively unscathed.

# 1. Pay attention to your patterns

When things are feeling unpleasant, many of us have default patterns we rely on. You might notice you have an emotional response such as getting angry, blaming others, or collapsing into doubt and defeatism. Or you may find yourself falling back on your favorite distraction strategies to avoid feeling, or to comfort yourself. These may include over-eating, binge-watching Netflix, playing video games, watching porn, compulsive thinking, exercising frenetically, and so on. For now, simply take note of what is coming up for you, without making yourself wrong or trying to change your behavior.

# 2. Connect to your body

During times of change, many of us go into fear mode and disconnect from our bodies (as you might see from the patterns you have been tracking). I invite you to find small ways to connect to your body, especially if you are feeling activated. Ideas for this include (but are in no way limited to):

Spend time (even 5 minutes) meditating and feeling your breath
Take a walk out in nature
Garden
Engage in a physical activity
Pat your body all over, and really feel each part as you touch it
Allow yourself to feel the feelings that are coming up

Whatever you do, keep bringing your attention back to your body, so that the activity isn’t just another way to escape from feeling.

# 3. Reach out to others

During these times, many of us (especially those on the more introverted spectrum) tend to isolate and hunker up. While having more space to connect to yourself can be healing right now, notice if isolating is exacerbating your sense of inertia/despair. If it is, be sure to reach out to those you are close to and trust. Know that you are not alone. There is a big energetic shift that many are feeling in this moment. This is a good time to reach out to healers or therapists you may have seen in the past, as having support is key right now.

# 4. Be gentle with yourself

I invite you to be very gentle with yourself, whatever is coming up. If you are struggling and reverting back to old patterns, then in all likelihood your inner critic is having a field day with you (because that’s our inner critic’s job)! In addition to noticing your patterns, connecting to your body, and reaching out for support, I suggest you give yourself as much empathy as possible. A beautiful Buddhist practice for that is that of loving kindness, also known as Metta. This is a practice where you send yourself loving intentions for your well-being, such as “may I be happy, may I be safe, may I be healthy, may I live with ease…” (click HERE for more information on the practice). If it is difficult to send yourself love, you can start with someone you can easily give love to (such as a pet, child, or loved one, and then start giving it to yourself.

“We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.” ― Dalai Lama XIV

#5. Open up to what wants to emerge

Tips 1-4 should help get your body out of survival (or fight/flight) mode, meaning that you are feeling calmer, more at ease, and your nervous system isn’t as activated. If not, keep doing more of the above. If so, you can set the intention to start opening to what wants to emerge. This may take the form of asking yourself, from a calm and peaceful place: “what am I supposed to be learning from this?” or “what is wanting to emerge?” and just see what happens next. Or if you have a practice of checking in with a higher power, guides, or your higher self, you can do so and see if you get any message or advice. And remember, you are not alone.

Words of encouragement for tough times

Finally, I will leave with a few words of encouragement I wrote for my loved ones during a time of crisis:

Know that even when the shadows are dancing in the corners of your mind, you are loved.

That even when the doubts crowd your knowing, you are supported.

That hope is waiting to pull you out of the undertow of despair and disparagement.

That when you are lost in the wilderness of your pain, your light is still there, even if hidden.

And when your breath slows its frenzied race, it can reignite your soul with its loving touch.

Staying Centered in Times of Uncertainty*Jenny Brav2022-07-30T19:13:28+00:00

Clear Energetic Boundaries *
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Clear Energetic Boundaries *

Clear Energetic Boundaries *

Do you ever feel like a sponge for other people’s stuff? Do some interactions leave you feeling depleted?

“Boundaries are, in simple terms, the recognition of personal space” –Asa Don Brown

When I first started doing healing work, there were days when I would come home feeling drained and un-grounded. As I began learning about energetic boundaries and practicing different grounding techniques, I discovered ways that I could use my natural intuitiveness while still maintaining my own energetic integrity. That discovery has been transformative both in my work and also in my intimate relationships. I feel less reactive, as well as better able to own my own needs and feelings.

The following are 5 tips for better energetic boundaries.

#1 Notice when you feel drained or depleted

We are constantly engaged in an energy exchange. This includes: how we spend our time, how much we work, what we eat, the people we spend time with, and so forth. Pushing past our limits is a culturally endorsed habit, and according to Psychology Today, a 2008 survey found that over 50% of Americans reported getting less than 7 hours of sleep. However, feeling chronically exhausted or depleted 1) is a clear sign that something is off-balance and 2) makes it harder for us to be in touch with or respect our boundaries.

I invite you to start tracking when you feel depleted/drained, and begin noticing factors it might be linked to, such as work stress, under-sleeping, lack of exercise, being around certain (types of) people or energies, tension with your loved ones, and so on.

In a separate column, write down what some of your go-to coping strategies for stress, and notice if those generally help you feel more energized. The ways we manage stress or check out (such as stress eating, drugs, alcohol, or compulsive use of technology) often actually serve to worsen our energetic depletion.

#2 Notice what helps you feel energized and grounded

Next, I invite you to write down what helps you feel more grounded and in your body. This may include having a certain amount of alone time each day or conversely a certain amount of social time, spending time in nature, movement/exercise, meditating, gardening and so forth. Close your eyes, and imagine you are doing one of those practices. Notice what that feels like in your body. Are there areas that relax of feel expansive? Breathe into those areas, and invite in more space.

# 3 Develop a daily routine that is nurturing

Looking at your list of activities/situations that are depleting and those that are replenishing, develop a daily or weekly schedule for maintaining your inner equilibrium. Try it for a week, and see how it feels.

For example, I have a checklist of daily activities that are nurturing (such as daily meditation, daily yoga, 15 minutes of writing, a daily break, going to bed by a certain time) and things to avoid (such as computer use the first hour after getting up and the last half hour before going to bed, sugar and wheat, spending more than 30 min on social media). When I do/avoid those things, respectively, it really improves my moods, my sleep, and my ability to cope with other people’s energy.

#4 Balance your energy field

Now that you have more of a sense of your daily energetic transactions, and what helps accrue or deplete your energy, I invite you to start exploring your energy field. All of us have an electro-magnetic field (or aura) around us. When we are balanced, our aura is about an arm’s length from the body in all directions, following the contour of the body.

Although it is particularly useful to be grounded when we are more stressed, for most of us those situations are when we feel most off kilter. This can result in our energy field being wobbly, thin, heavy, lopsided, or leaky. Boundary violations experienced in childhood can also lead to habitual patterns of either rigid or loose boundaries—or flip-flopping between the two.

At the end of the post is a guided meditation (also included in my “The Inside Out Switch post) that will help you learn to sense your energy field and ground. I recommend doing it twice a day—once in the morning to set your energy field, and once at night to clear it of anything you might have picked up during the day—for a week. Again, notice any differences. And if it is helpful, consider making this a regular practice

#5 Self-acceptance as a path to clear and loving boundaries

Many of us confuse boundaries with emotional armoring. In fact, the more we are grounded in ourselves, the easier it is not to take things personally and to have greater compassion for the other (as well as for ourselves). Indeed, having clear boundaries has little to do with others, and everything to do with our relationship to ourselves. Whenever we override our own limits/internal no, there is some part of us that minimizes our own needs. I invite you to notice all the place where you judge yourself or feel contracted. And practice sending compassion and acceptance to those places.

“Be in your own skin, as an act of self-loving.” –H. Raven Rose

Grounding Meditation:

Note: part of this guided meditation was adapted from practices learned at Psychic Horizons.

Clear Energetic Boundaries *Jenny Brav2022-11-29T13:23:28+00:00

Calming Anxiety & Overwhelm *
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Calming Anxiety & Overwhelm *

Calming Anxiety & Overwhelm *

Do you find your mind spinning out into worry and anxious thoughts? Is your nervous system jumpy and reactive?

“Anxiety’s like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you very far.” – Jodi Picoult,

“When I run after what I think I want, my days are a furnace of stress and anxiety; if I sit in my own place of patience, what I need flows to me, and without pain.” – Rumi

As a highly sensitive and intuitive child, I was prone to worry and overwhelm. The sudden deaths of close family members – starting with my father when I was 8 – intensified my sense of powerlessness in an unpredictable world. When I started my healing journey years later, I learned to view my anxiety as an indicator that some young part of me was feeling unsafe and needing attention. I also discovered ways to ground and find safety in my breath and my body, rather than seeking it in my mind and/or in the outside world.

In my experience, anxiety is often developed as a coping strategy for managing feelings of helplessness in an environment that feels unpredictable and out of control. From an evolutionary perspective, the fight-flight activation of our nervous system was intended to enable us to respond to specific threats and dangers, ending once we returned to safety. Generalized and non-specific apprehension, on the other hand, often leads to sustained states of hyperarousal of the nervous system, which has been linked to concerns such as insomnia, hypertension, certain heart conditions and so on.

The following are five tips for helping calm anxiety:

1. Identify and track your triggers

Start noticing if there is a pattern to your anxiety. Are there certain types of situations where your anxiety is heightened? For example, public speaking, having unstructured time, facing the unknown, being alone… I recommend keeping an anxiety journal for at least a week. Notice what thoughts arise when you feel anxious? What is your perspective on yourself and the world? What physical sensations are linked to your anxiety – i.e. sweaty palms, a racing heart, tightness in your stomach?

2. Send empathy to your anxiety

Although it may seem like your anxiety is just there to poison your life, it is actually a coping strategy intended to protect you from something. Now that you have starting tracking your anxiety patterns, I invite you to ask your anxiety what it is trying to achieve for you. For example, is it trying to give you a sense of control, predict all the worst case scenarios so you won’t be caught unawares, or avoid disappointment? If it feels accessible, send gratitude to your anxiety for working so hard to keep you safe and protected. You may feel resistance to appreciating your anxiety because it is causing you so much misery. However, when the pattern’s intention is recognized and appreciated, it is easier to let go of old belief and start bringing in new coping strategies that are more adapted to your current self.

3. Connect to your younger self

Now that you have a sense of what your anxiety is trying to achieve for you, ask yourself “if there was an age when I first learned that I needed to _______

[for example, ‘hide my feelings to belong’], what age would that be?” Notice if a memory or an age comes up. What was happening at the time? Imagine that you are there with your younger self, letting them know they are not alone. Send them empathy/understanding for whatever they were going through at the time. And let them know that they are safe now, and that they are OK exactly as they are. If no age/memory comes up, you can just continue to give gratitude and appreciation to the pattern of anxiety.

4. Get into your body

The body is the seat of our emotions and needs, and is also where emotional and/or physical boundary violations occur. Anxiety patterns often arise as a response to feeling unsafe in the body. We learn that it feels safer to numb out, escape, or hide out in our minds. When things feel out of control, our thoughts start spinning, trying to fix and figure things out. However, trying to find safety and grounding through our minds is a bit like a tree trying to ground through its branches and leaves, instead of its trunk and roots. That is not the function of the mind. Grounding and a true sense of safety can only happen when we are fully connected to our bodies.

Next time you feel the anxious thoughts arise, I invite you to pause and breathe. Connect to your body. This can take many different forms: stretching, going for a walk, meditating, being in nature, dancing, doing yoga, working out, and so on. Whatever you do, the invitation is to keep bringing your attention back to your body and the present moment.

5. Confront your thoughts

If the thoughts are still spinning or it is hard to connect to your body, sometimes confronting the thoughts themselves can be helpful. This is a way of creating some distance from our thoughts. Byron Katie has outlined four questions that can help us challenge and transform the power negative thoughts can have on us: “Is it true?” “Is it really true?” “How do you feel when you believe the thought?” “Who would you be without the thought?” Next time you feel yourself spinning on a negative thought train, see if you can hit the pause button and choose to get off it. May you experience greater calm and serenity.

Anxiety is the jittery feeling in the pit of my stomach.
It is the metallic taste of unease in my mouth, and the skittish beat of my heart.
Anxiety is the looping thought train that worries my mind in the wee hours of the morning.
It is my younger self letting me know she needs reassurance and love.
Anxiety is my reminder to slow down
Breathe
And return to the present moment