Do you feel like your world has been thrown off balance? Have some of your old triggers and patterns been activated in the past few weeks (or perhaps months)?
“We don’t realize that, somewhere within us all, there does exist a supreme self who is eternally at peace.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert
For most of us, change and uncertainty—whether it be on an individual, community, national or global level—triggers our old wounds and coping strategies. This may look like overwhelm and paralysis, getting easily irritated, trying to manage and control things…While it may feel like we have regressed or there is no solid ground to cling to, in my experience this is a sign that we are shifting into new possibilities, and that our souls are shedding what no longer serves us. That doesn’t mean it’s comfortable, however!
The following are five tips for staying centered during chaotic or uncertain times, so we can come out on the other side relatively unscathed.
# 1. Pay attention to your patterns
When things are feeling unpleasant, many of us have default patterns we rely on. You might notice you have an emotional response such as getting angry, blaming others, or collapsing into doubt and defeatism. Or you may find yourself falling back on your favorite distraction strategies to avoid feeling, or to comfort yourself. These may include over-eating, binge-watching Netflix, playing video games, watching porn, compulsive thinking, exercising frenetically, and so on. For now, simply take note of what is coming up for you, without making yourself wrong or trying to change your behavior.
# 2. Connect to your body
During times of change, many of us go into fear mode and disconnect from our bodies (as you might see from the patterns you have been tracking). I invite you to find small ways to connect to your body, especially if you are feeling activated. Ideas for this include (but are in no way limited to):
- Spend time (even 5 minutes) meditating and feeling your breath
- Take a walk out in nature
- Garden
- Engage in a physical activity
- Pat your body all over, and really feel each part as you touch it
- Allow yourself to feel the feelings that are coming up
Whatever you do, keep bringing your attention back to your body, so that the activity isn’t just another way to escape from feeling.
# 3. Reach out to others
During these times, many of us (especially those on the more introverted spectrum) tend to isolate and hunker up. While having more space to connect to yourself can be healing right now, notice if isolating is exacerbating your sense of inertia/despair. If it is, be sure to reach out to those you are close to and trust. Know that you are not alone. There is a big energetic shift that many are feeling in this moment. This is a good time to reach out to healers or therapists you may have seen in the past, as having support is key right now.
# 4. Be gentle with yourself
I invite you to be very gentle with yourself, whatever is coming up. If you are struggling and reverting back to old patterns, then in all likelihood your inner critic is having a field day with you (because that’s our inner critic’s job)! In addition to noticing your patterns, connecting to your body, and reaching out for support, I suggest you give yourself as much empathy as possible. A beautiful Buddhist practice for that is that of loving kindness, also known as Metta. This is a practice where you send yourself loving intentions for your well-being, such as “may I be happy, may I be safe, may I be healthy, may I live with ease…” (click HERE for more information on the practice). If it is difficult to send yourself love, you can start with someone you can easily give love to (such as a pet, child, or loved one, and then start giving it to yourself.
“We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.” ― Dalai Lama XIV
#5. Open up to what wants to emerge
Tips 1-4 should help get your body out of survival (or fight/flight) mode, meaning that you are feeling calmer, more at ease, and your nervous system isn’t as activated. If not, keep doing more of the above. If so, you can set the intention to start opening to what wants to emerge. This may take the form of asking yourself, from a calm and peaceful place: “what am I supposed to be learning from this?” or “what is wanting to emerge?” and just see what happens next. Or if you have a practice of checking in with a higher power, guides, or your higher self, you can do so and see if you get any message or advice. And remember, you are not alone.
Words of encouragement for tough times
Finally, I will leave with a few words of encouragement I wrote for my loved ones during a time of crisis:
Know that even when the shadows are dancing in the corners of your mind, you are loved.
That even when the doubts crowd your knowing, you are supported.
That hope is waiting to pull you out of the undertow of despair and disparagement.
That when you are lost in the wilderness of your pain, your light is still there, even if hidden.
And when your breath slows its frenzied race, it can reignite your soul with its loving touch.
© Jenny Brav
