Do you struggle with a chronic health issue and/or chronic pain? Do you feel hopeless that you can ever shift it? Would you like to go deeper into what your body might be trying to communicate?
“Healing severe or chronic pain, I believe, includes transforming our relationship to the pain, and, ultimately, it is about transforming our relationship to who we are and to life.”—Sarah Anne Shockley
Let’s be honest for a minute. Having a chronic health condition and/or chronic pain sucks. There are no two ways about it. This blog post isn’t intended to diminish in any way how debilitating and devastating having a chronic condition can be. Instead, I hope to provide another possibility for how to relate to the situation and to your body. In my experience, long-term health issues arise when something is out of balance physically, emotionally, and/or spiritually. While focusing on treating the symptoms is one choice, I believe that exploring what our bodies and psyches are trying to communicate is ultimately more effective.
The following are 4 tips for beginning to explore your chronic condition.
- Acknowledge the pain and anger
The first step is allowing space for the emotions and thoughts that arise when you think about your situation. Have a venting session with yourself. Say or write everything that you are thinking and feeling. For example: “This sucks!” “It’s so unfair” “This isn’t how things were meant to be” “Why me?” “What did I do to deserve this?” “Nobody cares” “I must be a terrible person for this to happen to me” and so on. You can also write a list of emotions that are coming up for you. Rage, hopelessness, grief – whatever it may be. To the extent possible, allow it to be OK to have these emotions.
- Accepting what is
Common cultural wisdom has it that the only way to overcome a condition is to go to war with it and come out the winner. Anything else is seen as giving up. While this can be a helpful approach for accessing the hope and inner resources necessary to healing, resisting what is may cause an inner split between our reality and how we want things to be. Acceptance is not the same as resignation. It means shifting from a small contracted place of fear to one where there is space for everything to be as it is. Including the parts that are resisting your current situation (which is what we did above).
Having listed your thoughts and beliefs about the situation, I invite you to write or say a statement that both acknowledges the above, and makes room for a little bit of acceptance. For example: “Even though I have this condition and I HATE it, and I’m fighting it tooth and nail (because who wants this!), I’m open to accepting that this is my situation for now.”
- Moving towards the body
Chronic conditions often (though definitely not always) arise when there is already some disconnect from our bodies. For example, in order to survive we learned to rely on our minds and be in control as much as possible. This usually means not trusting the body and its emotions, which can seem messy and unpredictable. Or we learned to be ashamed of our bodies. Experiences of trauma and coping strategies of disassociation also create a rift with our bodies. When we have a chronic condition – which is often our body’s way of screaming for our attention – we move further away because being in our bodies feels so unbearable.
Part of the healing process is to slowly learn to move towards the body, and begin a process of reconciliation. If this is physically possible, I recommend gently squeezing your body from head to toe. Take deep breaths as you go, and if it works for you perhaps say hi to each body part you are touching. This doesn’t need to take longer than 2-3 minutes (although you can always take more time if you wish). I suggest spending a bit more time on your feet. If touching your body is painful or not possible, I invite bringing your attention to each body part (from head to toe), and breathing into each one. Do this every day, ideally once in the morning and once in the evening, for a month.
- Listening
Once you start having a bit more of a connection with your body, you may want to explore what your body is trying to communicate with you. Close your eyes, and bring to mind the chronic health issue you are struggling with. Notice any area of your body that feels painful, achy, contracted or uncomfortable. To the extent possible, take nice gentle breaths into the area. Allow yourself to get a little closer to the sensations then you might usually. Ask yourself, if there was an emotion associated with this health issue and/or pain, what emotion might it be? If nothing comes up, that’s absolutely time. Ask your body if it has a message or a request from you. See if you can receive the responses with gentleness. I recommend checking in with your body in this way at least once a week.
Copyright © 2018 by Jenny Brav. All rights reserved.
